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  • Writer's pictureJo Fleisher

Her world has changed....forever.

Updated: Aug 20, 2019

I feel compelled to write a post today to try and express how I feel for a very dear friend who recently lost her beloved father after a lengthy illness.

I can't even begin to know what she is going through right now, I have never experienced a loss like this. Losing a parent hurts so much, no matter your age.

Even when a death is expected it doesn't make it any easier when it actually happens. What do you say to the surviving family members ? "He is at peace now", "He isn't suffering anymore", "You will always have your memories of him". Yes, all this is true, but as a grieving family you are left wondering...."How do we go on without him ?"

People say that losing a parent is like losing a part of yourself, that you feel like your "rock", your "safe place" is gone.

Shock, numbness, denial, anger, sadness and despair are the feelings most people use to describe how they feel after the loss of a loved one. These emotions can last for several months and to varying degrees after the loss. Most people experience these feelings in stages and in no particular order and they diminish in intensity over time. Some people continue to experience these intense emotions for years after the loss and that sustained grief can have cognitive, social, cultural and spiritual effects.

When a person experiences a significant loss, like the loss of a father they need to grieve, they need support and above all else, they need time. Everyone processes loss in their own way and on their own time. The stages of recovery after the death of a loved one typically involve allowing yourself to experience the pain of your loss, which gradually gives way to accepting the reality of it and finding a way to move on. The healing process also involves finding it possible, in time, to enjoy other relationships.

Self care is also very important after a loss. You will be better able to process your grief if you don't hide from it. Don't hide from your feelings, thoughts and memories. Take good care of yourself by eating well, getting enough sleep, exercise and take the time to grieve and rest. Be patient with yourself and with your grieving loved ones, Grieving is a personal process, but you don't have to go through it alone.

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